i've got something in my mind that i've been keeping for so long . imagine someone , is trying her best to make LOADS of friends . while she pangseh her old friends . omg . how terrible that is huh ?? your true colours are showing already . come one la . you have your own friends already . still go act close with friends you JUST made . =.=! some ass would do that . it just totally sucks when i see your old friends without you . look at their face . the sad and dissapointed look on their faces . and you aint sensitive enough to feel it . its freaking obvious they dont like you to go with the sec4s . you do this , next year when all your sec3 friends hates you , and your dear seniors graduated , you'll finally know the meaning of loneliness , the meaning of retribution . you'd be all alone . and dont tell me you're gonna go find your old friends uhhh . you left them there when you dont need them . now you have no one to go with , you go find them . dont you think its a lil too overboard ?? and you're so unreasonable . i wonder why every lil thing that people do , just pisses you off . well that behaviour of yours just annoys others . being angry at something for some reasons is one thing . being unreasonable just because you dont like that person is another thing . she did not do anything wrong . so whats up with the black face you give and the horrible mean words that comes out of your mouth everytime you see her ?? each and everyone has their own character . but somehow or other , people can change for the better . but how would she change if you dont even give her a chance to do so !? do you know how many friendships you've broken marh ?? if you continue this way , it'll get you nowhere . you'll suffer in the end . thats for sure . well , dont come asking me whether its you or not . unless you feel that guilty . HA !! then , its you .

well well . thinking back , i realise how stupid i was . the opportunity came , and i let it off . what is this man . just coz of some things that meant so much to me at that point in time , JUST that point in time , i let the opportunity slip pass me . now , seeing the current situation , im regretting like crazy . i SHOULD have transfered school . why didnt i transfer last time ?? its coz i followed my heart . and not my brain . my future would be so much brighter if i had been strong enough , smart enough and brave enough to take that different path instead of staying in my own comfort zone . everyday , i look back and saw that my current life would be much better , much happier if i had transfered . people in tkgs are so nice , so friendly and dont seem to have much problems in school .

but my life now , in esss , suck like some effing hell . everyday , going to school , is like a path to somewhere worse than hell . the pain my heart feels everytime the same thing occurrs again and again is so unbearable . the reason why i stayed in esss , and not going over to tkgs was something that meant so much to me . but now , i dont see why i should not transfer . i thought my friends were more important than the passion i had . but now i realise , the friends i thought meant so much to me , dont stay forever . but passion does . at that point in time when i thought of NOT transfering , my mind were just on friends . no thought about the future came into my mind . it didnt cross my mind that one day , that friend will just walk away . i thought we would stay like this forever . BUT !! time proved me wrong . as time passes by , the more we drift apart . and the more i regret not transfering . however , now its too late . i did not sieze the opportunity .

seriously , im REGRETTING like some shit la . cant believe i was so darn stupid to not transfer . if i did , at that time , i may have been sad . but thinking of long term , i'd be much happier right now . i'll have more exposure and more training . and im sure the friendships i have with people in esss wouldnt sour so much . whats done cant be undone . the decision i made was a grave mistake which cost me to end up where i am now . coz whats wrong with changing direction and getting out of your own comfort zone if its for your passion .

haiz~ typing all these down isnt gonna help . guess i have to get into a good JC to pursue my bowling . though i have a jc which i long to enter , i hope my studies would like improve la . as for friends , i've tried my best already . it takes two hands to clap . you want it this way , i cant do much . i'll just have to bear with the pain i feel everyday . and people out there . if an opportunity comes for you , do grab it . dont make the same mistake that i made . coz its hurtful when you know or realise that the reason you gave up your passion for , be it coz of someone or whatever , and that big sacrifice you made just fades away from your life .