When I think im ok,
It usually lasts a few hours.
Then I realise im not.
So frustrating.

I want to be ok.
But you're not helping.
One different feeling I never had,
That im not given a single chance.

Those hands that held,
Those hands to hold,
That shoulder to nudge,
That shoulder to lie on.
Gone for good-good riddance.
Of bad rubbish.

I wish to close this chapter.
Quickly and hopefully,
Less painful.
Yes, its self denial.

Now I know the meaning of lonliness.
So tragical.

Its time I learn THE lesson -
To be ready to give it all yet not expect anything.
Mmm.
Appreciating those who never left even more now.
More worthy the effort.

You chose him